reflections, week 8

a day late because I was on a field trip with some students yesterday… but, as y’all probably know, tarde pero seguro (late but certain) is the name of the game for me…

write something every day (except Shabbat). I’ve been trying to do even small bits of writing on days when I’m running out of time or energy to write extended pieces—so the hope is to keep making progress on that! my double-class term is almost done, so I’m hoping I can commit to working on one project that I write on every day.

be better about money. this month has been tough in terms of money because both the roommate and I have gotten shorter checks than usual due to various shenanigans, but I’m happy to report that we’ve stayed on top of things as best as possible and that things are looking up for the next couple of months. yesterday I took the CTA for a long-complicated commute instead of just getting an Uber, so I’m feeling good about that too!

self-validate more. this continues to be an area of strength most of the time—but I still sometimes reach out for external validation before I can commit to finalizing some things, which is something that I still want to work on. I have really reduced my negative self-talk, though, and that has been a huge struggle for me for years, so I’m glad to have that to celebrate.

I’ve got some things to get off my chest that I’ve started to write about—but it might have to wait for two more weeks, or until the double-class term ends!

Advertisements

today I experienced… executive function????

okay, y’all, today has been wild in the best of ways because I have actually knocked out just about everything on my to-do list!

the best part, at least for me, is that I did not even have to give myself an intense pep talk, or bribe myself, or even do anything other than decide to do a thing and then do it. it’s seriously life-changing to remember that such a thing is possible because I honestly do not know when was the last time I felt like this was. I literally worked for about seven hours and did my laundry, cleaned my room, wrote three papers (so I’m now ahead in my grad class!) and did some grading!

(granted, I did not a whole lot over the weekend, other than writing a brief paper last night, so perhaps it was the actually resting that did it? either way, I am hella, hella grateful)

here’s to more functional days, y’all.

resolutions, week 7

do I have other blog posts queued in the drafts? yes. am I drowning in things to do and therefore have yet to finish any of them? also yes.

in the meantime…

write something every day (except Shabbat). this was not as great this week; I even dropped the ball on my bullet journal and just took a few days off from life and habits. (to be fair, this detour coincided with my return to Dragon Age: Inquisition and my drowning in Cullen feels, but.) I’ve got some interesting things to write coming down my queue, but it’s a matter of managing my time so that I can write them. we’ll see.

be better about money. the IRS saga continues, unfortunately, and I know that it’s just a game of chicken between me and USCIS and the IRS, haha. I think I’ve been doing okay in other aspects, but I also know this is a hella tough month financially so I have to figure out if I can keep it together moving forward.

self-validate more. I actually have continued to do well in this, which is really surprising and exciting—I had absolutely expected this to be the toughest resolution to stick to! I think this will be harder when I’m having really low days, but so far I’ve been pretty even and validating myself has been pretty comfortable.

okay, back to crying about Opportunity and Dragon Age: Inquisition…

resolutions, week 6

(yes the title has been shortened, let’s roll)

write something every day (except Shabbat) – after a fair amount of consideration, I am now counting days where I wrote something academic as days in which I wrote, just not tracking those words in my overall count… which means that I did, in fact, write every day over the past week (even if my word count dipped quite a bit due to the pile of final essays I was grading)! the routine is not where I want it to be yet, as I’m not writing for consistent amounts of time or at consistent times, but I do feel more creative!

be better about money. talked to an accountant re: taxes, but now have to duke it out with the IRS. hopefully next week that will be sorted. this month is going to be hella tough financially since we’re having a shorter paycheck due to weather-related school cancellations and it’s the month where our roommate’s job switches to a different payment schedule… but we’re trying to stay positive!

self-validate more. therapist noted that I actually did this a lot in our session this week (I literally said the words “I’m proud of myself” and, while I have felt that before, I don’t think I’ve ever dropped the words quite so casually!) and it felt great to have someone recognize that this is something I’ve been working on! I’ve also just been celebrating my own success, even when it’s minor, a lot more… coworker says I’m starting to treat myself like I treat other people.

continuing to make progress so far… we’ll see how this goes. until next week!

weekly update on resolutions, week 5

hello from Chiberia, y’all~

Write something every day (except Shabbat). I’ve actually only netted 1K more in the past week, which was actually just in the posts I made to this blog—a far cry from my 21K-in-four-weeks rate—but to be fair I was absurdly close to the threshold for pneumonia last week, so I’ll cut myself some slack. I did brainstorm some upcoming posts, start some drafts, and prep my bullet journal for the next month—so, you know, points to me.

Be better about money. Taxes are still not done—I have to contact an accountant because I’ve got some questions—but I did pull up my credit report and go on a quest yesterday to make sure every single payment reported is correct. I’ve also been working on the budget for next month, so I’ve got high hopes of continuing to improve in this category moving forward!

Self-validate more. This past week, I’ve done better at being nice to myself when I stumble and not giving myself too much crap for any blank spots in my habit tracker, so I’m pretty proud of myself right now. I just have to keep working on this moving forward. I also put my foot down about not going anywhere in this Arctic weather, so I’ll take that as self-care too. 🙂

until next week!

time (is relative)

(this is not the post I had mentioned I was working on, but it’s so relevant after last night that I took a detour just as Shabbat ended to talk about this)

If you know anything about me, you know that I struggle with making decisions, staying focused, and being on time. Like, literally, those are my top three struggles. (How it never occurred to me that I might have ADHD is seriously wild.) Now, for a long time, I have talked about how my issues with time have to do with the fact that I don’t see time in a linear fashion (Business Insider’s explanation of linear-active time is the best I’ve seen re: my own conception of time)—but I think 11.5 years in the States have changed that a little bit.

Yesterday, I spent some time with my uncle for lunch—and it became abundantly clear that I am starting to see time differently, even though he has lived here for longer than I have.

Continue reading

weekly update on resolutions, week 4

it’s that time of the week again y’all~

Write something every day (except Shabbat). I’ve only missed a grand total of five days in the whole month, which is totally wild for me! I’ve also written 21.5K words this month, way beyond anything I’d imagined!

Be better about money. I’ve collected all the stuff I need, so I am hoping to be able to report that my taxes are done when next I give y’all an update. On a bright side, I’ve gotten up to date on almost every account and I’ve got a plan moving forward. On a “need to work on” note, I didn’t actually spend time cooking until yesterday, so that “restaurants” tab on Mint has been getting a lot of action.

Self-validate more. This one has remained difficult, but I’m happy to say that I’ve kept working on it, and I’ve got the whole year!

there are a couple of posts in the drafts that need to be finished and queued; hopefully one of them will be posted before the end of this week and then we’ll have another next week 💖