reflections, week 18

yes, I’m still here, and stuff is still happening, and I’ve got some updates for y’all.

create a writing routine. y’all, this went so well at the start of this month… I was ahead of the curve for Camp NaNoWriMo! but then the depressive episode hit mid-month and I’ve just been stuck in neutral ever since. I made a lot of progress on this month’s project and I wrote some stuff for it that I really loved, but I’m really not certain where I’m going next or whether I’m gonna be able to do any writing tomorrow so I’m sad to have yet another one where I don’t get to finish, especially since I started out so well. but it was so nice to have a space where I could write this month, and I really appreciated getting to do it, so I want to do so much more of it! we’ll see!

be responsible with money. this has been pretty good despite the madness of this pandemic, and I’ve managed to pay off another two things and just renewed my lease so I’m feeling pretty steady about the next year… I’m just freaking out a little about the summer because of course summer camp isn’t happening and I’m going to have to find a way to supplement my income because I haven’t been able to save like I wanted to what with how wild the past few months have been. it’s been hard to know that I’ve been improving so much on this and I might still end up in that hot mess place this summer! but we’ll see how things end up…

make better health choices. after my dad’s death, I’ve been working on getting appointments with various specialists to get all sorts of things looked into… and I haven’t been able to get everything done what with the pandemic putting things on hold, but I’ve been doing the appointments I could and trying some new medications and trying to make some better choices. it’s just tough to keep focus on making those choices when those choices also feel so… inconsequential in the greater scheme of things? it’s just weird.

unplug from social media on Shabbat. this remains something that’s successful, which I love to say, but I do think that I need to start spending some more time doing more things offline on this day also… reading, playing board games, embroidering… whatever it may be, I want to make sure that staying off social media also means that I’m doing things that are special and restful, not just counting the minutes until I can go back to Twitter.

start a nighttime routine to wind down (at 10PM). okay, I didn’t think there was anything I was failing with harder than writing, but this is definitely it!!!! my sleep has been all sorts of messed up lately, partially due to the uptick in anxiety; I’m having a lot of issues falling asleep so I’m going to sleep late as hell and struggling to turn off my brain. I think I’m going to try and be a little more intentional about this in the coming weeks and see if I can some stuff to help my brain get into sleep mode… and, yes, take some melatonin, probably, to try and help things along.

I’m hoping to update again soon, since I’d like to talk a little bit about my birthday and some of the changes that have been happening over here… but I’m not going to make any promises just based on how things have been changing so rapidly around here!

until next time! ♥

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