(yes the title has been shortened, let’s roll)
write something every day (except Shabbat) – after a fair amount of consideration, I am now counting days where I wrote something academic as days in which I wrote, just not tracking those words in my overall count… which means that I did, in fact, write every day over the past week (even if my word count dipped quite a bit due to the pile of final essays I was grading)! the routine is not where I want it to be yet, as I’m not writing for consistent amounts of time or at consistent times, but I do feel more creative!
be better about money. talked to an accountant re: taxes, but now have to duke it out with the IRS. hopefully next week that will be sorted. this month is going to be hella tough financially since we’re having a shorter paycheck due to weather-related school cancellations and it’s the month where our roommate’s job switches to a different payment schedule… but we’re trying to stay positive!
self-validate more. therapist noted that I actually did this a lot in our session this week (I literally said the words “I’m proud of myself” and, while I have felt that before, I don’t think I’ve ever dropped the words quite so casually!) and it felt great to have someone recognize that this is something I’ve been working on! I’ve also just been celebrating my own success, even when it’s minor, a lot more… coworker says I’m starting to treat myself like I treat other people.
continuing to make progress so far… we’ll see how this goes. until next week!
I wrote this two years ago and, unfortunately, it is still way too true—so in the light of today’s awfulness, I’m revisiting it and putting it here for posterity.
NOTES: I used the original spelling of 43’s name to avoid trolls but also because I refuse to let that surname die. Also, this is unedited except for the addition of bold italics for emphasis and the rewriting of the last sentence, which I edited to reflect my current description of my identity.
let’s check in on progress for my three big-picture goals for the year…
Write something every day (except Shabbat). I’ve actually only missed a couple of days (literally) so far this month and I’ve written just under 15,200 words (not counting this post). It has been really exciting, but grad school started this week so I expect I’ll slow down a little bit on the output… but I am going to keep working to find time to write! I’ve also been reading for leisure almost every day, even if for just a few minutes at a time, to give myself time to recharge before going back to work. It’s been really nice so far!
Be better about money. I’ve been trying to spend less with mixed results, but I have made an effort to track all my bills and get everything on AutoPay and just generally make sure I’m current on all accounts and have a clearer idea of how much money is in my checking at all times! Overall, I do feel like I’ve been doing better at not hiding from my finances, but I know that there is still a lot of work to be done! On a bright side, I did already prep all of my itemized deductions for my side gig (including my miles!) so I am literally just waiting on W-2s/1099s so I can file my taxes.
Self-validate more. One of the reasons I started a bullet journal (which my therapist is thrilled about!) is so I can have visual representations of my progress, which will make it easier to remember that I am growing and I should be giving myself credit for it. I’ve also been working on celebrating my successes (even if all I did was finish my to-do list) and talking myself through the stumbles in a less negative way—so I’m excited about my progress so far!
I am excited to report I am doing alright so far! I’m particularly excited about how much writing I’ve done… I’ve started tracking my word count in a gorgeous tracker courtesy of Svenja Gosen and, not counting this post, the blog post I’ve been working on (re: traditions, coming soon!), or any academic writing, I’ve written about 6300 words so far this month! I’ve also really tightened the reins on my finances—it’s going to be an interesting few weeks but I am hoping I’ll come out on the other side with a lot more breathing room.
somewhat relatedly, I saw my therapist for the first time in about a month (we took off for winter holidays) a couple of days ago and brought my bullet journal… she was really excited to see me working on something like this, especially with the mood tracker, and was really proud of me for actually resting rather than working during break.
now to keep the momentum going and keep myself as even possible…
I know, I know—writing the first post for a new blog on January 1st and writing about resolutions?
Knowing how overdone this is, though, I’ve decided to give this a try anyway because I’ve got a particular perspective that I think might be helpful for anyone who might read this—and, really, I’m mostly doing this for myself because I have a lot of feelings to process.
But first, a bit of a context regarding my perspective.