reflections, week 29

hey y’all! sorry for the longest hiatus yet—camp season is in full swing and I am just finishing my prep course for the comprehensive exam this week and then it’s time to take it next Monday (!!!!!!!!!!!). I’m nervous but excited, way more than I have been thus far… mostly because this research design seminar has really prepared me for this next step and has gotten me really thrilled about the research that I’m planning to do. if you’re the praying kind, I’d love some prayers about my exam and then my dissertation proposal—and, if you’re not, good vibes are always much appreciated.

on to the updates!

write something every day (except Shabbat). oh, man. I have technically done this, but so much of it has been academic—I started off really strong for Camp NaNoWriMo but then have definitely fallen off the wagon. once this pre-proposal and lit review draft revisions are done, I’m hoping to get back to the book I’ve been working on—some people have expressed interest in reading some of it after I described the premise, and I’m hella nervous but also interested in finishing something and then presenting it to someone, haha. I’ve also been off the wagon for my bullet journal since I never did end up setting it up for this month, oops… and my habits have thus been similarly inconsistent.

be better about money. these past two weeks have not been great for this, but for good reason—we booked a vacation! I haven’t been back to the Caribbean in a while, and only ever visiting home, and my husband has never been—so we’re going on a cruise for spring break! our roommate M and close friend H (whom I sometimes refer to as “the sister-wives” because I have an inside joke problem) are also joining us, so we’ll do some family vacation stuff together and then sometimes J and I will do some belated honeymoon stuff together. we’re sailing out of San Juan so we’ll get to see my home a little bit and visit with the family, so I’m really excited about that also! (I also bought some face masks and bath bombs so I can treat myself at the end of each camp week because it’s been a wild time.)

self-validate more. I have actually been pretty confident as camp has started and I’ve felt really comfortable validating myself—I genuinely think that knowing that I have ADHD has been life-changing because I am so much more comfortable saying “yeah, you made a mistake, but you also did x, y, z right so it’s going to be okay”… mistakes are no longer (always) personal failures; I now understand that sometimes that stuff just happens! I’m sure that, if I have a depressive relapse, this will be much harder—but I’ve been pretty even in my moods (other than struggling during some really difficult periods recently), so I’ve been able to work on this skill without “distractions.”

okay, now that I’ve done this wild update, I’m going to go try and finish my pre-proposal outline tonight. until the next time, y’all!