reflections, week 8

a day late because I was on a field trip with some students yesterday… but, as y’all probably know, tarde pero seguro (late but certain) is the name of the game for me…

write something every day (except Shabbat). I’ve been trying to do even small bits of writing on days when I’m running out of time or energy to write extended pieces—so the hope is to keep making progress on that! my double-class term is almost done, so I’m hoping I can commit to working on one project that I write on every day.

be better about money. this month has been tough in terms of money because both the roommate and I have gotten shorter checks than usual due to various shenanigans, but I’m happy to report that we’ve stayed on top of things as best as possible and that things are looking up for the next couple of months. yesterday I took the CTA for a long-complicated commute instead of just getting an Uber, so I’m feeling good about that too!

self-validate more. this continues to be an area of strength most of the time—but I still sometimes reach out for external validation before I can commit to finalizing some things, which is something that I still want to work on. I have really reduced my negative self-talk, though, and that has been a huge struggle for me for years, so I’m glad to have that to celebrate.

I’ve got some things to get off my chest that I’ve started to write about—but it might have to wait for two more weeks, or until the double-class term ends!

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today I experienced… executive function????

okay, y’all, today has been wild in the best of ways because I have actually knocked out just about everything on my to-do list!

the best part, at least for me, is that I did not even have to give myself an intense pep talk, or bribe myself, or even do anything other than decide to do a thing and then do it. it’s seriously life-changing to remember that such a thing is possible because I honestly do not know when was the last time I felt like this was. I literally worked for about seven hours and did my laundry, cleaned my room, wrote three papers (so I’m now ahead in my grad class!) and did some grading!

(granted, I did not a whole lot over the weekend, other than writing a brief paper last night, so perhaps it was the actually resting that did it? either way, I am hella, hella grateful)

here’s to more functional days, y’all.

resolutions, week 7

do I have other blog posts queued in the drafts? yes. am I drowning in things to do and therefore have yet to finish any of them? also yes.

in the meantime…

write something every day (except Shabbat). this was not as great this week; I even dropped the ball on my bullet journal and just took a few days off from life and habits. (to be fair, this detour coincided with my return to Dragon Age: Inquisition and my drowning in Cullen feels, but.) I’ve got some interesting things to write coming down my queue, but it’s a matter of managing my time so that I can write them. we’ll see.

be better about money. the IRS saga continues, unfortunately, and I know that it’s just a game of chicken between me and USCIS and the IRS, haha. I think I’ve been doing okay in other aspects, but I also know this is a hella tough month financially so I have to figure out if I can keep it together moving forward.

self-validate more. I actually have continued to do well in this, which is really surprising and exciting—I had absolutely expected this to be the toughest resolution to stick to! I think this will be harder when I’m having really low days, but so far I’ve been pretty even and validating myself has been pretty comfortable.

okay, back to crying about Opportunity and Dragon Age: Inquisition…

resolutions, week 6

(yes the title has been shortened, let’s roll)

write something every day (except Shabbat) – after a fair amount of consideration, I am now counting days where I wrote something academic as days in which I wrote, just not tracking those words in my overall count… which means that I did, in fact, write every day over the past week (even if my word count dipped quite a bit due to the pile of final essays I was grading)! the routine is not where I want it to be yet, as I’m not writing for consistent amounts of time or at consistent times, but I do feel more creative!

be better about money. talked to an accountant re: taxes, but now have to duke it out with the IRS. hopefully next week that will be sorted. this month is going to be hella tough financially since we’re having a shorter paycheck due to weather-related school cancellations and it’s the month where our roommate’s job switches to a different payment schedule… but we’re trying to stay positive!

self-validate more. therapist noted that I actually did this a lot in our session this week (I literally said the words “I’m proud of myself” and, while I have felt that before, I don’t think I’ve ever dropped the words quite so casually!) and it felt great to have someone recognize that this is something I’ve been working on! I’ve also just been celebrating my own success, even when it’s minor, a lot more… coworker says I’m starting to treat myself like I treat other people.

continuing to make progress so far… we’ll see how this goes. until next week!